Carole
It’s not so much what has happened, but what is happening to me and has been since I knew I was queer.
In high school, even before I realized I was queer, I was an ally. And I thought I was accepted by my LGBTQIA+ friends despite being cis-gendered and straight, but right off the bat, during my senior year, they just ditched me. From nowhere, out of the blue, without any explanation, and I still feel hurt because of it.
Then, from a Christian perspective, I hear my family, especially my parents, say to love others and forgive, but then they don’t speak to my sister and sibu (non-binary sibling) for various reasons, a main one being their affiliations with the Christian community.
Pronouns: she/her, they/them, fae/faer, pix/pixie
Photo of Carole
My father even said he hopes my sister will divorce her wife—he would prefer his young grandkids and his daughter go through a divorce, rather than have a happy non-traditional relationship and family dynamic.
So, because of this, I feel like I can’t come out to my parents. While I despise what they say, I still love them and wish to keep in contact with them.
There are very few people who I’m out to. Most are online or coworkers, and two or three from my college church group, but that’s pretty much it.
I struggle with this every day—with telling my parents or people in the college church group, with worrying about how this will affect my future dating, and whether this is real or if I’m just faking myself out. I’m worried about how to tell my future partner about this or if I bottle it up forever.
But, regardless of what happens, God is faithful, and I will follow Them for the rest of my days.
Photo of Carole
