Mistianna
My name is Mistianna, and I am a bisexual Christian.
A hardship that's happened in my life is when I came out. I was very lucky because my family was so supportive. My Mom and Dad made it clear I was loved no matter what. My Sister likes getting pride stuff to show her support. I was fine for a while; I accepted myself. That is until I realized how hated LGBTQ+ people were and saw such triggering things.
Pronouns: she/her
Photo credit: Mistianna archives
I started to believe that God didn't love me for who I am and was very ashamed of myself for it. I found comfort in LGBTQ+ shows and books even then was ruined by me thinking I shouldn't find such comfort in them. It continued on, and I would have panic attacks, bad ones too. I experienced hateful words said about people like me at my youth group and felt a panic attack coming on.
I wondered why God would make me this way just to be hated? It didn't make sense. I felt so hopeless and sad. So I made an excuse that I had to leave, and when my mom picked me up, I remember crying and asking her if it would ever get better. We had a very meaningful conversation consisting of how God made me this way and that I need to accept myself and love myself.
I stopped going to my youth group and joined an online affirming youth group. I still very much struggle with my sexuality and my faith, but I'm trying. I couldn't have made it this far without my amazing family and a best friend who's never made me feel like I was wrong for being bisexual. I hope one day I can not struggle with accepting myself and just be happy.
Photo credit: Mistianna archives
