Huw
My name is Huw, and I’m a gay, non-binary Christian.
I grew up attending a little traditional Welsh village church with my family, and ever since I can remember, Jesus and the church have been the best things in my life. However, during my first year studying at Bible College, I fell in love with my best friend.
Pronouns: they/them
Photo credit: Huw archives
Our friendship was built on worshipping God – him on guitar and me on piano. I didn’t understand why I was being tempted by this 'evil' feeling that seemed so much like healthy 'love' in my heart. I realized, for the first time, that I couldn’t simply choose not to be gay, despite being told otherwise by my mother.
There was only one option then – to distance myself from any male friends because they were a cause of temptation. My church still loved me, but I would be expected to remain single for the rest of my life. This was the start of the most painful year of my life, grieving this 'heteronormative dream' that seemed to have been stripped away from me.
No one said any hateful words, but my own internalized homophobia was eating me alive, eroding away my joy and my light. The day I accepted who I was, I was able to worship God authentically for the first time because I knew that when God said they loved me, it was truly me they loved, and not the false person I pretended to be.
I’m still at the same church today, and I’m beginning to see how simply being queer and being present makes the world of a difference, especially for the young people who look up and see someone like them using their chosen names while praying from the pulpit.
Photo credit: Huw archives
