Ryan
My name is Ryan Mijumbi and I am a Demisexual Catholic.
Towards the end of middle school, I stumbled upon a documentary detailing the story of a trans kid named Sadie Romero. While her story was powerful and moved my very soul, an immediate concern popped up when I remembered my Christian school’s stance on LGBTQIA+ individuals.
Pronouns: he/him
Photo credit: Ryan archives
I approached my school’s pastor to plead a case for Sadie’s eternal salvation. However, my pastor answered my appeal with Genesis 1:27 as the condition for Sadie’s salvation. I left the meeting with an inner feeling that something was wrong. This became my first awareness of the discrepancy between queer living experience and anti-queer dogma.
Entering my high school’s Gay-Straight-Alliance as an ally, I eventually discovered my place in the asexual (ace) spectrum when I noticed how differently I approached sexual attraction compared to my peers. My journey towards demisexuality required a lot more self-reflection as I navigated societal norms around sexuality, peer pressure around sexual relationships, and my own hopes for romance.
Within Christian spaces, my “ace-ness” was mistaken for purity and abstinence. Unfortunately, the accolades for being “abstinent” as an asexual teen quickly go away when you’re an asexual adult and start receiving pressure to have sex for procreation. Throughout my college career, I found more ways to connect with the LGBTQIA+ community, and I researched multiple ways to defend against anti-queer dogma.
Yet, my fervor for “queer apologetics” slowly transformed into an appreciation for sharing with my friends and mentors, both queer and ally. While knowledge and ideas serve a purpose for LGBTQIA+ rights and affirmation, it is through our relationships that we experience God’s love and queer joy.
Love, relationships, and community will always be stronger than heartless theologies and logic that masquerade as ‘truth.’
Photo credit: Ryan archives
